A Freedom to Get to Know Yourself

“What you’ve done becomes the judge of what you’re going to do — especially in other people’s minds.  When you’re travelling, you are what you are right there and then.  People don’t have your past to hold against you.  No yesterdays on the road.” -William Least Heat Moon

I've been travelling my whole life and at first, I didn't really like it because it's not a vacation-kind of travelling, it's my dad, moving around the countryside for his job. Why didn't I like moving around? First, it sucks cuz you need to start all over again with school, another friend, new territorial and other sucks thing for a little girl.

So when my dad had stopped moving, I was so happy to begin my adventure with my old friends. We moved back to our main house in Bekasi, I didn't have to start all over again, already had friends, old school and it's where I was born...so, I had no trouble~

Everyone knows teenage life is another level of suck(ness). I grew up wanting to travel but my parents said "NO....NO TRAVELLING BY YOURSELF!" I couldn't even go to the mall with friends. Well, I get it my parents were afraid that I'm going to hurt myself or get kidnapped. It's okay I'm glad they did not give any permission back then who knows what I would end up with ^^

Pocky Cake Recipe and The Day I Turned Into a 21 Years Old Person

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! Well technically my birthday was a few days ago, 28th march, i shared birthday with Lady Gaga, isn't it awesome?
I love my birthday, because it's the time when my family and friends, all of suddens, texting me, calling me, even giving me surprises! I looove surprises, well who doesn't?

My 21st Birthday wasn't as awesome as my 16-17-18-19 birthdays, still i love it because i realized that imma grown ass person. One more step to be at the gate of real life. Maturity and stuff, although i don't like that fact, but i have to face it because i can't run forever.
The day i turned into 21, i started to think about few things like what am i gonna do with my life?Do i wanna get married?Do i wanna have kids?Will i graduate with a good GPA?Can i survive another years?
I'm telling you these stuff are so confusing!!!Plus it's getting hard when you realized that the clock is ticking...now you don't wanna talk about it, but the next day you wake up in another birthday. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, getting old sucks!!

20 was perhaps the last age of me doing stupid things (i can't promise you that) so i celebrated it and made myself a birthday cake. Maybe the cutiest birthday cake i've ever had.
It's Pocky Cake everyone~ It's so hipster but i love it hahaha.
Basically it's only a vanilla cake, cream cheese frosting, slices of fresh strawberries, and Pockys.
Well if you have no idea what pocky is, let me explain it to you. Pocky is a snack from Japan, sort of biscuit sticks, dipped in flavored chocolate. It comes out in many different flavours, You'll like it, trust me!

So pretty right?

Vanilla Cake's ingredients :

• ¾ cup unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1 ⅓ cup sugar
• 3 large eggs, room temperature
• 1 vanilla pod*
• 2 ½ cup all purpose flour
• 1 ½ tsp baking powder
• ½ tsp baking soda
• ¼ tsp salt
• 1 cup buttermilk*, room temperature

Cream Cheese Frosting's and Strawberries ingredients :

• 450 gr of Cream Cheese, room temperature (i used Milkana)
• 1 cup of Icing Sugar*
• 1 teaspoon of Vanilla
• 2 tbs of Milk
• 5 tbs of Unsalted Butter, room temperature
• 1 cups of strawberries
• 1/4 cup of strawberry jam
• 2 tbs of lemon juice

and you need 5 pckgs of Strawberry Pocky.

Directions :
Cake

1. For the cake preheat the oven to 350 F. Grease two 8-inch round cake pans. Line the bottom of each pan with parchment paper and then flour the sides of the pans, tapping out any excess.

2. Beat the butter for a minute until it soft and gradually add the sugar, beat until fluffy, then add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Then open the vanilla pod, scrap the beans and add it to the batter.

3. In a separate bowl, sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add this alternately with the buttermilk, starting and ending with the flour and mixing well after each addition. Divide the batter evenly between the 2 pans.

4. Bake the cakes for 25 to 35 minutes, or until a tester inserted in the centre of the cake comes out clean. Cool the cakes for 20 minutes in their pans, then carefully turn out to cool completely on a rack.

Frosting

1. In a large bowl beat the cream cheese til soft, then add the icing sugar, beat well til blended.

2. After the consistency is fluffy enough, add the soften butter, vanilla essence and milk. Beat well.

3. Refrigerate the frosting before you use it, at least for an hour.

4. Meanwhile, slice your strawberries (depends on your fav, kind of slices) and put it in a bowl.

5. Heat the strawberry jam with the lemon juice for a minute then cool it off.

6. Add the strawberry jam mixture into the bowl of strawberries, mix it well.

Now you frost the cake with the cream cheese frosting. It doesn't have to be fancy because the Pockys will cover it anyway ;p

How do you stick the pockys to the cake?Easy peesy, just stick it one by one, close to each other. Takes time but it's worth the fight ;)

Notes :

*If you can't find vanilla pod or too lazy to scrap it, just use 2 tsp of vanilla essence/extract.

*You can make your own buttermilk. Yes you do know that. 1 tablespoon of lemon juice/vinegar+1 cup of milk, stir and leave it for 5 minutes, there you have your own buttermilk.

*i only used 1 cup of icing sugar because i don't like my frosting too sweet, i want it taste like cheese cake. But if you guys not sure about that, you can use 2 cups or more...just do whatever your heart wants ;)

Oh and by the way i buy the vanilla pod from a shop in Instagram called Good Food Grocery, check their instagram, they sell a lot of cool stuff >.<

L.O.V.E

the 21 ALLYSA

"You Give Me the Kind of Feelings People Write Books About"

I'm that kind of person who is actually romantic yet so skeptical about the whole relationship things. Maybe it's because traumatic, fears, and my anxiety. Since years ago i have been in love with a few boys. I love a boy, for a very long time, till my heart hurt so bad. For example i've loved someone since i was 7 years old, and he didn't like me back.

Then i loved someone, he liked me, but then we're just fallen apart, he didn't even ask me to be his girlfriend whatsoever and we ended up having relationships with other people.

That give me a conclution = I'M THE MASTER OF RELATIONSHIP'S IDIOT!

Years of my love life were awful, i'm terrible, but it's so weird that i still believe in the old fairytale such as True Love and Soulmate.

My friends keeps telling me that i'm an idiot for believing that stupid fairytale, but i can't lie, i always (do) believe in every stupid things, that's who i am.

True love/Soulmate to me is the same as your favorite book. Even you have read a lot of books, you'll always come back to that one book you love the most. You read it countless times, you keep it no matter what happen. You keep it good even though you know the color of the papers will change, one of the page will be torn. I will keep torturing myself with this idea, until i find one.

Random Picture from Instagram

And i think i've found my soulmate.

I like this guy since the first time we've met. I eventually love his appearance, love the way he talks, love the way he puts his smile to the others. I memorized his phone number (i was a creepy stalker back then) through the data that we (we were in an organization) wrote on the paper, and i started to talk to his bestfriend, digged some informations, but he was so cold back then. Then i gave up and tried to forget him.

Yeah you know where it goes...i can't. Even i figured it out that he actually kinda into me. But we were both had our own relationships.

I still have feelings for him. I do love him even it hurts to wake up knowing that me and him = never gonna happen.

I believe he is my soulmate, even i'm not sure that he'll be 'The One', but he is my SOULMATE. He give me the kind of feelings people write books about. When i'm around him, it feels like home, it's familiar, so comfy, no anxiety, no fears.

If Soulmate is a lot of pressure, well then maybe he is my Spaghetti. I like it no matter how many plate that i've been emptied.

Hahahahaha, but maybe it's for the best that we just keep being friends. Maybe i will bump into someone who happens to love me.  Alright, another day dreaming, just wish me luck to find that unlucky guy :)

Picture taken by me